Auntie Life is the best life
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An aunt’s life is the best life!
I am a firm believer that Aunts and in many cases, Uncles, play a vital role in their nieces’ and nephews’ lives. It’s fulfilling, rewarding and challenging.
Looking back I had some amazing aunties in my life. Whether they were blood relatives or really good family friends. I could count on my aunties. They provided life lessons, cherished memories and of course they would always slide me a few dollars!
Their love was pure and genuine. Their relationship with me was more than, “that’s just my aunt, and that’s just my niece”. They were mentors, confidants, and role models for me.
Their example inspires me. I want to be more than Auntie, or Tee-Tee! I want to empower my niece and nephew. Provide a safe space for them to talk to me, open up about their feelings. And there is always, and I mean ALWAYS room for spoiling my babies.
It’s so important, that they feel like individuals! That’s key in my eyes, especially for my niece Sorelle. She’s 14, and has a 2 year old brother. You can only imagine how she may feel sometimes. Like, her brother gets all the attention. So for her to feel seen, and heard is important to me. She and I have our own relationship. I love her not only because she is my niece, but also because I love the person she is becoming. I do my best to plan dates with her, ask about school and her interest or hobbies. And let’s not talk about Taylor Swift, I was not a huge Taylor Swift fan, but Sorelle is. So you know what that means? Tee-Tee becomes an honorary Swifty! Those are things that are important to her. So if she likes it, I love it!
Then there is Sterling. Little Mister, or Big Booooyyyy! He’s got a mind of his own, and I’ve come to realize that Sterling loves me in his own way. I do not force it, he talks to me, kisses me, hugs me when he’s in the mood for it. The most I can get from him is a “Hi Tee-Tee!” But he knows I love him, and he knows where to find me when he wants to play, or get a treat from the cabinet. I want to encourage him to be curious, to be adventurous. It’s okay to fall down, and scrape your knee. It’s okay to be dirty! Be a kid, be a boy! But also, remember, to be loving and gentle toward the ladies. Which I don’t think, we’ll have to worry about that with Sterling, he can be quite the lover boy. And if, he should grow up and find a girl he likes , I trust, he’ll treat her real good! I mean, he better!
One thing, I’ve learned so far, is that they both have their own personalities. They both can be moody… and have attitudes. That’s life, we are all entitled to feel, and have emotions. But it’s how the adults in the situation handle it. Often times, attitude for attitude is not the solution. It makes things worse. But for them to feel heard, and feel safe to express their feelings is key. We do not want to push them away.. the old notions of, “stay in a child’s place” or “speak when spoke too”, that’s all well and fine, until that same child is turning to other avenues to let out their emotions or feelings, that can be so damaging to them. And you are left scratching your head trying to figure out, “where did we go wrong?” It’s finding balance. They too have to remember that they are not the adults, there is always a level of respect that is needed. Respect me, and i will respect you!
My goal as an Aunt is to avoid undue tensions as attitudes and problems arise. To deescalte the situation in a loving and respectful way. . And I am sure my sister would agree how important it is, for our kids, yes, I say “our kids”, to feel that love, and to feel like they can always turn to us. Their lives matter to us. We love them!
So I say all that to say this: My love for my niece and nephew is always growing. I want to be that person in their lives they feel they can always depend on. Our bond will continue to grow stronger! Tee-Tee ain’t going no where, I’m here forever!
Stay tuned!
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